What Happens In Thailand
killer instincts, relationships, and where butterflies go in the rain
Welcome to hyperfix’d - a low-stakes publication where I share everything and anything I’m excited about, with anyone who will listen. After the first beautiful, eighty-degree day in the city, vibrations are high, and my social calendar is back in full swing - recent city happenings include Ravyn Lenae’s set at Blue Note, Dua Lipa’s Service 95 New York launch at L’Appartement 4F, and the Sadie Sink-starring John Proctor Is The Villain on Broadway. Without further ado, here is new hyperfix’d:
The White Lotus, Season Three 💻
With the long-awaited White Lotus finale mere hours away, the subversive prestige drama has once again taken the internet and monoculture by storm. As the fatal promise of its premise looms large, here are my predictions of whose body is found in the water, from least to most likely to die.
Mook
I can only imagine the horrors Blackpink stans would inflict upon Mike White if he killed off the beautiful, talented Lalisa! White has historically supported women’s rights and wrongs, so if the previous season’s heroines, Lucia and Mia, are any indication, Mook is most definitely coming out on top, leaving her work boyfriend high and dry.
Sritala
Sritala doesn’t have time for all that - she’s too busy watching music videos and queening out with Sam Rockwell. I wouldn’t put it past her, however, to fire a gun if the situation called for it, her killer instinct as bright as her star.
Pornchai
Pornchai can’t die because he’s too sexy to die - having only really interacted with Belinda at the resort, the odds of his death feel slight compared to how the rest of the season’s drama has been playing out.
Chelsea
If there’s one girl who is ‘going to be okay,’ it’s our lover girl Chelsea - an Aries who earnestly wears her heart on her sleeve, the spiritual twenty-something has been a voice of reason and encouragement to more than one of her fellow travelers, so karma is on her side - whether with our without her emotionally absent boyfriend, Chelsea will be leaving the resort healed and better than ever. My prescription for her travels home is a week of The Artist’s Way and a rewatch of Girls.
Piper
While the Ratliff family has taken up most of the series’ screen time, Piper, cursed with middle child syndrome and a midwestern coming-of-age, has made little to no impression on her family vacation - she has no thesis, no personality, and no desire to spend a year at a monastery. Piper’s death would ultimately be a forgettable one, evoking a response similar to that of Michael Bluth in Arrested Development - ‘her?’
Victoria
Victoria has turned out to be the only sane member of her family, and hasn’t done anything that would warrant her death - going on this vacation was punishment enough. Victoria knows she’s too old to be living an uncomfortable life, or an inauthentic one at that - it won’t possibly end with a freak accident at a wellness resort that she can’t remember the name of.1
Kate, Laurie, Jaclyn
In true white woman fashion, each one more self-interested and self-hating than the next, this friend group has never had to face the consequences of their actions until now. Kate’s skated through most of her life on convenience, Laurie’s been in fight-or-flight since leaving New York, and Jaclyn is yet to finish her poolside read of Barbra Streisand’s 992-page memoir. Amidst all their midlife crises, fearing death isn’t high on the list, so they’ll likely be spared by the skin of their teeth. What happens on the girls’ trip stays on the girls’ trip, and the three will happily return home with no memory of their grievances towards one another.
Pam
It has not been a wonderful week for Pam, who’s gone for broke trying to accommodate the Ratliffs, a family that couldn’t care less for her overbearing hospitality. Her sheer proximity to them and the fact that she’s first to send out a warning about the resort’s poisonous pong-pong fruit, doesn’t bode well when it comes to her survival - either way, her patience with the Ratliffs is about to wear thin.
Lochlan
Lochlan perfectly exemplifies the plight of the youngest sibling, constantly trying to please those around him while coming to terms with his own identity - there’s an abiding sense of tragedy to this cycle, wanting the betterment of others at the expense of your own virtue. After confessing to Piper that he ‘doesn’t feel like going home, like ever,’ in light of recent revelations, his wish might just come true. I’m rooting for our bi-icon to make it out alive, and to never hook up with his brother again.
Valentin
If Anora taught us anything, it’s to never trust a Russian tw*nk that urgently needs something from you. Now that we know Valentin was the one who orchestrated the hotel store robbery, there’s a high likelihood he’ll be caught in a confrontation that instigates the gunshots and at least one casualty. It all feels a little predictable, but that’s what you get for messing with Carrie Coon.
Belinda
Belinda, you in danger girl. Belinda has been the connecting thread between all three seasons and has been through the most series of unfortunate events each time. After everything she’s been through, surely she can be spared from death. Belinda’s son Zion is the first person to spot the floating body, so for it to be his mother’s feels like far too ominous of an ending, even by White Lotus standards.
Timothy
I almost need Timothy’s body to be the one in the water just so he can stop violently spiraling. Even though it’s been made clear that he cares very little about the wellbeing of his family, Victoria doesn’t need the additional trauma of losing her husband on a vacation she didn’t want to go on in the first place. I second the speculations that his lawyers may have already resolved everything, and that like any white male exec in the corporate world, he will return home without no trace of a criminal history.
Greg & Chloe
Greg and his Jacquemus-adorned girlfriend are one of the most contemptible pairings I’ve ever seen on TV. I wish them nothing but the worst! Chloe resembles Tom Hollander’s character from previous seasons, mastering the manipulation of bored and naive hotel guests for her own immoral interest. Greg on the other hand, has stuck around for two seasons too many. While I sincerely hope that his time on The White Lotus will soon come to an end, it would be credulous to think that he didn’t have more sinister acts up his sleeve (or to assume that his girlfriend is safe from them either.)
Saxon
Of all the unresolved arcs this season, I'm most anxious to see how this one unravels - ever since the ruinous yacht party, Saxon hasn’t known a moment of peace, slowly spiraling into a descent that’s faltered on the brink of total ego death. Is it a worse fate to completely self-destruct in the aftermath of an irreversible act, or to live with its shame forever? For the eldest brother whose existence has already been deemed ‘soulless’ (perfectly phrased by the ever-charming Aimee Lou Wood), living with oneself might be the biggest punishment of all.
Fabian
A Star Is Born wishes! Fabian’s desire all season has been to sing the song within his heart, and his tunnel vision has led to him completely abandon all hotel manager responsibilities as a result. Fabian is almost too easy of a target, and his highly built-up musical debut being reduced to barely background music makes me think that if he were to suddenly disappear, no one would even notice.
Gaitok
For all the times he’s done his job poorly, somehow, all signs have still led to Gaitok. He’s just crossed the Ratliff family after they took his gun, connected that Valentin was the one behind the hotel robbery, and taken zero hints from Mook’s clear disinterest. Whether he’s the one aiming the gun, or about to fall prey to a greater tragedy, Gaitok is the most likely to intervene in the fatal showdown of the season, challenging his non confrontational beliefs.
Rick
Rick’s healing journey, in which he finally begins to let go of his traumatic past, has been one of my favorite arcs to watch, much in part due to Walton Goggins’ visceral performance. Sadly, Rick will never be one to fully see things through - he abandoned his girlfriend days into their romantic getaway to confront his father’s supposed killer, all to (checks notes) pull a Joe Alwyn in The Brutalist and push the old man off his chair. Like Chelsea, Rick is a lover, not a fighter, and of all the players this season, he might actually find the peace he’s been looking for in death. If there’s one thing The White Lotus reminds us of time and time again, it’s that no one is truly in control of their own fate.
The White Lotus’ season finale airs April 6 at 9pm EST on Max.
On Repeat 🎧
signing off with a few songs i’ve been loving lately, for your hyperfixation consideration:
Hampstead, Ariana Grande
Relationships, HAIM
Sunshine & Rain, Kali Uchis
Something Beautiful, Miley Cyrus
Tonight, PinkPantheress
Pluto, Raveena
I recently watched Party Girl for the first time, and finally understand the Parker Posey appeal - she’s been the moment!